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Zero Time Dilemma: The Minecraft Map
Zero Time Dilemma: The Minecraft Map Zero Time Dilemma: The Minecraft Map (also known as ZTD, ZTD1, or simply Zero Time Dilemma) is a Minecraft Adventure Map created and released by SpeedMemesArchive in 2016. The story revolves around many challenges the protagonist Pobis Johnson faces. ZTD features various quests, typically intended to have comedic value. The map was created due to SpeedMemesArchive attempting to create a game worse than the [https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Zero_Time_Dilemma Zero Escape Game] based on the suggestion by Adrylek that "you could not make a worse game if you tried." The initial plan for the map contained a mess of uninteresting clutter. However, most of this early content ended up being cut from the complete map in favor of a more structured, although still apparently low-quality, map. Plot Summary The map opens with an introduction to the main characters of the map, as well as one of the main mechanics of the map, Plot Twists. Pobis Johnson, "you're anime waifu," as well as the antagonist, "this anime picture." A brief section of exposition then follows, which explains that Satoru Iwata was murdered by Barack Obama in 2015. The player is supplied with a time machine, allowing them to travel back in time in order to kill Obama and stop the death of Iwata. In 2015, the player encounters the White House, home of Obama. Although the house is surrounded by a fence, the player is able to get over the fence through the usage of a Russian Warship supplied by Vladimir Putin. Upon climbing onto the roof of the White House and entering, it is learned that it was not the true White House. After falling through a second fake White House, the player discovers the real one, a structure made of twenty-four Quartz Blocks and a sign containing the words "the whit house." Nearby, Obama is found hanging from a tree above a pool of lava. After pushing Obama into the lava, the player proceeds forwards. After the player kills Obama, a jump forward in time occurs and it is revealed that the player is Donald Trump, who has been recently elected into office as President of the United States. To protect america, Donald Trump attempts to build a wall to keep out the Mexicans. Once the wall is complete, a Shimakaze and Reimu Intermission occurs. During the intermission, Shimakaze pressures Reimu into having sex. The player is then presented with an anti-abortion propaganda paragraph claiming that sex education and media bombarding children with information about sex has caused the spread of STDs and teenage pregnancies. It then goes onto state that Planned Parenthood is causing all of this in an attempt to gain money. The player falls into Nuck Palace, a palace located in an inescapable mineshaft, and is instructed to "Seek a Way Out." Nuck Fico claims that he would be able to find a way out if he had his glasses. Nuck Fico says he left them at Bongo Bongin's Den. The player retrieves two glasses from Bongo Bongin, but Nuck Fico complains that these are "glass _bottles_." After the player returns to the Den, Bongo Bongin informs them that Nuck Fico left his spectacles in The Bathroom. They retrieve the glasses from the bathroom and are instructed to bring them to Eric Petersen for cleaning. The player enters Eric Petersen's Glasses Cleaning and Marriage Counseling, has the glasses cleaned, and then returns them to Nuck Fico. Nuck Fico complains that these are still ''"glass ''bottles." The player accidently breaks Nuck Fico's glasses, and goes to the Toad Bros. Bazaar to order a new pair. Thriff T. informs the player that they are out of stock for glasses. The back wall of the Toad Bros. Bazaar then collapses, revealing a path out of The Mineshaft. The player enters the village of EULA Changes, a village covered in turkeys. Pobis Johnson Jr. tells the player that the village is going through a famine during Thanksgiving. He tells the player of a legend that all the turkeys fled to Lava Land years ago, and directs the player to a Nether Portal in the village well asking the player to retrieve a turkey. In The Nether, the player finds an escort mission to deliver a turkey to a turkey hole. Upon filling the turkey hole, the player discovers that the turkey was actually a minecart. The player is forced to do some Sick Parkour. After completing the parkour, the player is teleported upwards and it is show that from an aerial perspective the parkour looks like a penis. The player completes a mandatory Golf Sidequest. When the player finishes the ninth hole, it is revealed that the sidequest was actually bowling. The player then teleports to Shhwonk Fortress. Inside of Shhwonk Fortress, the player must complete two cleft challenges. The first is to wait inside of a box for 18 seconds. After the player completes the first test, The Narrator asks them why they waited inside the box for 22.8 seconds instead of 18. The player does the second challenge, which is to wait inside another box for 19 seconds. The player is able to leave the challenge after only 13.2 seconds, which is because they waited 5.8 seconds too long the first challenge. The player then learns that the first challenge was actually only 17 seconds, as opposed to the 18 originally expected. After the challenges, the player has to complete a quiz on Daniel Middleton, referred to in the map as "The Almighty DanTdm." The quiz contains various questions, such as "What Are The Of His Dogs In Real Life And What Breed?" "What Is Dans Favorite Colour?" and "What Colour Hair Has Dan Got?" After completing the quiz, the player finds the real turkey escort mission. The player attempts to transport the real turkey into the real turkey hole, but the minecart rail bridge collapses under the turkey. The player is transported back out of Lava Land. Out of the Nether, the player is placed into a replica of the game osu! for five minutes. Afterwards, the player is teleported to the scene of the crime. They witness arrows shot, lava being placed, and the creation of a Wither, TNT, and a Charged Creeper. The player is tasked with investigating Mexico to find four clues hinting towards the person who performed the crime. After collecting Clue #3, the player is shown a Minecraft replica of the YouTube video "sweet bro & hella jeff in THE SOCK RUSE." The four clues heavily suggest that Pobis Johnson was the criminal. The player goes to The Courtroom to try to accuse the correct criminal. After attempting to accuse The Anime Picture, Obama, Pobis Johnson, and The Highschool, it is revealed that the actual murderer was Iwata. The second and final Shimakaze and Reimu Intermission occurs. Reimu complains that Starbucks coffee tastes like shit. Shimakaze explains that many influences other than bitterness, such as astringency, can cause coffee to taste bad despite bitterness always taking the blame. Reimu makes Shimakaze try the coffee, after which she realizes that the coffee does indeed taste like shit. The C.E.O of Starbucks appears and explains that that is just how their coffee tastes. The player is then transported to Fahr Outpost. The player enters a flashback. They enter a sepia-tone village located in 1716 Japanw. The player talks to Billy-chan, Steve-chama, and Linus-kun trying to figure out why the village is named Greensville, and is told by Linus-kun that the entire village is the color green. The player, crippled by color-blindness, enters a hospital. In the hospital, the player is confined to a boat wheelchair. Their nurse, Reimu, instructs them to go and see the docotor. The docotor, Shimakaze, instructs the player to get her food in preparation for the big battle. The chef, Pobis Johnson, gives the player an anime cracker. The player is teleported above the hospital and forced to complete a 7-Lap Baby Park race in their wheelchair. After delivering the anime cracker to Shimakaze, the player goes to train in the training room. After the player goes through a secret passage, Shimakaze reveals her evil plans. In 1 day, she plans to turn Minecraft into anime. Pobis Johnson breaks through a wall, and reveals, after 300 years of hiding, that he is Dwayne "The Rock" Johnson, Shimakaze's arch rival. Dwayne "The Rock" Johnson gives a motivational speech about preparing for the battle of life instead of watching anime all day. It is then revealed that the player has been controlling Pobis Johnson since the start of the map, and that the person in the flashback was just the Narrator's Dad. The flashback ends, and Not Pobis Johnson directs the player to the house of General White, who directs the player to the moon to retrieve the seventh Crystal Star from Grobis. On the moon, the player finds Kotarou Uchikoshi, who tells the player about the plot twist at the end of the map. He uses three clues, that the player is Pobis Johnson, that the player has a penis, and that Pobis Johnson has a wife, as well as the new information that everyone in the Minecraft Map is gay except for Kotarou Uchikoshi, to prove that the player is married to Kotarou Uchikoshi. The player makes one more trip to Eric Petersen's Glasses Cleaning and Marriage Counselling to discuss their relationship with Kotarou Uchikoshi. The map ends by telling the player that they were, in fact, Nuck Fico's glasses the whole time. Category:Maps